He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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