grandma shit on top of the toilet
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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