im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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