We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
