with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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