Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
