bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
