weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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