We won't sleep together?
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
