I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
ttyl tear gas
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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