Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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