I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
