How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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