4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
