That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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