I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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