Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
either way he was missing a nipple.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
