We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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