This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
