Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You may now shotgun with the bride
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
