Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
