She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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