The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
