Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
