i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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