you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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