She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
