That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
