I'm lost and stupid without you.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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