I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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