So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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