I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
