guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
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