why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
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