i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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