Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
