That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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