honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
