this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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