My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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