I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
