She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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