ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
