I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
you made out with another girl for some wings
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
