just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
