lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
