That's intense
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Randomize
