I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
