So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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