I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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